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This has completely challenged my personal life, the way I conduct myself, the way I approach relationships, how I consider the consequences of my actions, and my ability to let a woman into my life emotionally. I had something I made for her before the trip, but considering what happened last night, I didn’t know whether I should give it to her. Ultimately I think we make a great couple on paper, but reality is a completely different story.

Before heading to the airport she gave me an envelope that had the book by A. Selfishly, part of me wishes that she could be more of an aggressor, someone who would try to convince me to change my mind just once. Maybe that’s all BS, and I’m just making cowardly excuses. Maybe I’m just a scared little boy who can’t “man up.” Whatever it is, I know she deserves more.

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