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' I said 'I do get a certain amount of freedom in these trousers, yes.' I went to Millets and said 'I want to buy a tent.' He said 'To camp?', I said [butchly] 'Sorry, I want to buy a tent.' I said 'I also want to buy a caravan.' He said 'Camper?I'm so lazy I've got a smoke alarm with a snooze button. So I went down the local supermarket, I said "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it", he said "Those are pickled onions".I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet 'Best Before End...' So I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue." I said "No, just a watch." I went into a shop and I said, "Can someone sell me a kettle." The bloke said "Kenwood" I said, "Where is he? So this bloke says to me, "Can I come in your house and talk about your carpets? t have to be polite" "Alright" I said "I'll just have one then, you stupid cow" "You know, I'm not very good at magic - I can only do half of a trick.You see, I have to catch the train.”The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. "Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the one.” 8 Mother: "How was school today, Patrick? And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you? My mate bet with me that I'd never eat at a barbecque with Matthew Corbett - I said, that's a Sweep-Stake!

He opens the door to see an angry snail, who yells, "What the Heck was that for?

), so one liners and really funny short jokes can pack a lot of fun into a very compact package.

Here is a list of some of the best really funny short jokes and very funny jokes that you will ever find: - Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have. - A man is sitting on his couch watching his TV when he hears the doorbell ring.

" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'" "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.

They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice." "So I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said 'I want to buy an ice-cream'. ' I said 'We'll start with one.' He said 'Knickerbocker glory?

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