How to deal with an imtimadating
I never heard a guy in college say to me, "wow, you're so smart! I never considered the impact of a guy's peers on his sense of intimidation, though. On the flip side, it was easier for me to be myself around those guys, and not feel like I had to "dumb down" my personality just to be able to have social contacts.For me personally, in high school/college, I only felt intimidated by guys who I felt were smarter than me, or who I felt would never give me the time of day (older, or more popular, or whatever).These days, I believe in my own worth and sexiness, and the only guy I know who I feel intimidated by is a BDSM Dom/rigger, older than me, who I know I could not feel like an equal if I got involved with him.General hotness is not a source of intimidation for me, though I find I still feel a little surprised that I get attention from hot guys (a carryover from my teen days as a wallflower).Forward, blunt, and passionate are all traits people tend to call intimidating in women that I absolutely adore. There are some women too aggressive and admant and impulsive for me to date. If there's a particular guy you like who you think finds you intimidating, then act particularly friendly and accepting of him. Now, at 40, a year after divorcing, I find that men are strongly attracted to the very qualities that gave me problems when I was young. So I'm telling you :)If you peruse my comment history, you'll see where I talk a lot about relationships, sex, and so on. There's less 'growing up' and 'men becoming more confident' than you think. BUT, in high school you are surrounded by other guys and your friends.Sometimes, intimidating can also mean controlling, aggressive, etc... Most often, though, I think it means a woman is too impressive or too much of a.... There's a few wild stories in there too ;) Probably not all that applicable to you young-un's though. When you say I like Susie, and EVERY guy you know nods and says something like 'yeah, Susie's pretty hot', you get damn intimidated by other guys. A major where you are completely surrounded by guys who have similar interests as you (engineering).But I am a pretty lady who tends to be assertive so I'm guessing that's got something to do with it.Edit: a friend of mine said it when recalling high school, another friend of mine who was shy said it- he ended up wanting to date me and some guy who was flirting with me said it in a playful way.
Whether it's intentional or not doesn't really matter."Ask Gender" subreddit? If you were a 6"2 bodybuilder, I might find you intimidating.
I get jumpy anytime young men are portrayed in a negative light and older men are preferred.
I think it's a very ignored facet of sexism that has much broader and deeper effects than most will admit. I didn't intend for my comment to be read that way.
What I have a problem with is when the attempt is made to force men into "admitting" they find them attractive, or to make them feel lesser for not being attracted to her. It's new, it's strange, it's intimidating. A lot of men are intimidated by women just because they're women. Based on my experience in high school, I think "intimidating" is more likely to mean that you are smart, reasonably confident and capable, (and/or possibly an introvert, so you give off the impression that you don't like many people) and a guy feels like he will need to be on his A-game in order to get your attention.
You're welcome to do as you please, but women shouldn't act like they should still be able to attract high quality men when they do things men are commonly not attracted to. I'm actually more attracted to women a lot of people call intimidating. But it definitely doesn't mean she's unnatractive. The women either has to be way out of his league or be on steroids. Far more likely is that the word is used out of place. That's men who aren't socially forward and have a barrier to approaching women... Guys that age tend to be really, really insecure, and are afraid of rejection. I'm not saying hide your intelligence or otherwise distort your personality, just be more conscious of the kinds of behaviors that put people at ease. When I went to college (engineering school) and was surrounding by lots of smart guys, suddenly I was deluged with attention, which I found overwhelming and didn't really handle well.