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These false beliefs can stem from a time we’ve been rejected by a peer in the past.
“When a negative experience happens in a social setting, a person tends to believe that the next experience will be similar, even with a different person, and so he or she closes themselves off to contacting someone new in fear that a negative experience will happen again,” Cummins explains.
“Whether this is a mastermind group, recreational [sports] leagues, weekly Zumba classes, a night class at a local community college, an REI training class, a Meet Up …
put yourself in situations where you’ll meet multiple new people face to face,” says Annie Wright, licensed psychotherapist in California.
Play dates were coordinated courtesy of your parents, transportation included.
Not to mention, save for school and soccer practice, your calendar was wide open for bonding time.
If you're working 80-hour weeks and want someone who maintains a similarly breakneck pace, you have to steer clear of the usual suspects, dating app–wise, and branch out to alternate ground.
Is it someone to grab a post-workout smoothie with?
Put the woman you do partner planks with at gym class on your list. Ask the coworker who just got back from wine country.
"When a person acts on their behaviors first (texting and setting up a friend meet up) instead of creating a rejection scenario in their head, they are able to overcome the concerns or fears that may come along with rejection.”You don't have a classroom full of peers to choose from, but there are plenty of places you find yourself as an adult where you’re surrounded by like-minded people to befriend.
You can start by scoping out your office for a new pal — which can also be beneficial to your job.